By Guest Bloggers Cindy Ratzlaff & Kathy Kinney, authors of Queen of Your Own Life®
www.QueenofYourOwnLife.com
Occasionally when you’re climbing up the mountain of life, you’ll find a big boulder right smack dab in the middle of the path. That boulder might be medium sized and you may be able to get around it with just a little extra effort. But sometimes the boulder is massive and the path you were on is blocked forever. We think that’s the universe’s way of saying to you “Turn Left Here.”
Cindy had a “Turn Left Here” moment when the economic downturn caused her industry to lay off nearly 1,000 people in a six month period. After the initial shock, she began to realize that there may never be another job for her in the profession she’d worked in for more than 20 years.
Casting around for a way to replace the income she’d lost, she soon came to the conclusion that she’d need to retool. She signed up for a six-month course in social media marketing and merged her background in marketing and branding with these new internet tools and techniques.
In those six months she went from not even having a Facebook profile to teaching others how to brand themselves and their business. There were days when she thought her head would explode as she struggled to overcome the handicap of being a digital immigrant, but as the rusty parts of her brain became more accustomed to learning something new everyday, she soon came to love this fast-paced new industry. Cindy now blogs, tweets, posts and Vlogs multiple times everyday and trains others to do the same thing. She’s energized by learning new things and now realizes that turning left at the big boulder in her path opened up a new, different and equally beautiful path up the mountain of life.
So when the path changes, for whatever reason, we believe it can be a new opportunity—even if starting down that new path is scary at first.
We understand, however, that one’s first instinct isn’t always to turn to the left or even the right for that matter. We’re so accustomed to telling ourselves to forge ahead at all costs that sometimes we literally keep banging our heads against the boulder, wondering why we aren’t making any progress. Here’s what we do when we feel stuck.
- Stop and assess the current situation.
Close your eyes and imagine yourself on the top of a high mountain and the wind is blowing. Look back over the first half of your life and without over thinking it, choose a moment in your life that you’ve come to think of as particularly difficult or that most altered to course of your life. Now, letting go of the “could’ve, would’ve, should’ves” of that situation, try to image that moment as a large boulder blocking your path. With your eyes still closed, turn your gaze to the left and envision a new path that you hadn’t noticed before. Allow yourself to feel curious and excited about where it might lead. As you leave the original path and follow the new path let yourself feel joyful about the adventure ahead.
- Identify values you admire.
Get out a piece of paper and a pen. Write down the names of the ten women you admire most. Again, don’t ponder this. Write down your first thoughts. Then write down the qualities you most admire in these women. Read the list aloud. It might help you to look into a mirror while reading this list. Put a check mark or star next to the qualities that resonate most with you as you read them.
- Identifying your core values.
Now you knew this was coming. What qualities do you like best about yourself? Don’t be shy. We’ve been told not to brag about ourselves since we were young girls. This isn’t bragging. This is a conversation between you and you. So, go for it. Are there any words on the list of values you admire in other women that match the words you’ve used to describe your best qualities? If there are, chances are good that these words are core values for you. If none of them match, don’t worry. This is a process and in the end, it’s your choice completely to pick the words that you want to represent your core values. We recommend that you pick the four to six words that mean the most to you right now. At different times in your life, these words might change. That’s ok. Don’t get hung up on creating the perfect list. Just pick four words that you think can guide you as you make decisions of importance.
- Create your Coat of Arms and Motto.
We like a good art project and we think that the act of writing things down, creating a visual representation of our goals and speaking them out loud helps new ideas and new habits take root in our brains. We’ve created a blank template for a Coat of Arms and Motto that you can download for free at http://www.queenofyourownlife.com/wp-content/uploads/COAT_OF_ARMS_P.jpg
Add the four to six words you’ve chosen to identify your core values to the coat of arms template. Feel free to use markers, glitter pens, ribbon or whatever speaks to you. Have fun with this. When you’ve finished your project, sum it up with a Motto. Ours is “Because We Say So.” To us that means that the way we live our lives is a conscious choice we make everyday. Now pretending you’re still atop that windy mountain, read your words aloud. At the bottom of the page, add “I admire this woman. I admire me.” Then sign your name. We admire you too.